Crash
by little-borgia
Summary: When a car crash that was anything but accidental leads to Delphine's amnesia, Cosima decides to give Delphine an ordinary life together no matter what the cost.
1. Chapter 1

"She'll be fine, love. She's a tough girl." Mrs. S whispered the minute they arrived at the hospital. She immediately hugged Cosima, pulling her in tightly. She loved all the girls, but watching Cosima with her own mother had made Siobhan feel a maternal instinct towards Cosima, more than Alison or Helena. Of the clones, Cosima seemed the youngest. Perhaps because she seemed so fragile.

"What happened, exactly?" Cosima asked, glancing at Sarah. She knew Sarah wasn't happy about it. She swore she was done posing as Beth. But Cosima was so desperate for answers that Sarah couldn't say no. So she hid behind the badge for what she hoped was one final time.

"Witnesses say that Delphine was stopped at a red light. When it turned green, a car that was parallel parked along the street pulled out and ran the red light-"

"He waited for her," Cosima sobbed.

"Another driver exited his vehicle, walked up to the window and then left. He left her for dead, that's the only explanation..." Siobhan hugged Cosima tighter, feeling her body tremble as she sobbed.

"They thought she was dead," Cosima sobbed. "Otherwise, they would have shot her..."

"But Delphine survived," Sarah sighed.

"It's still touch and go," Cosima sniffled. "They weren't going to let me see her..." the words got choked up as the realization sank. "But she didn't have any family and they didn't want her alone in case..."

"Nonsense. Delphine is strong. She was wise enough to keep her eyes closed and hold her breath when the man approached."

"She's been in danger ever since she met me."

"No! We did not ask for this!" Sarah cried. "We cannot blame ourselves for this."

"She's right," Siobhan whispered. "And Delphine knew what she was getting into. She risked it all because she loves you."

"Her love for me is going to kill her," Cosima whispered, rushing to the bathroom.

"Let her go," Sarah whispered, grabbing Siobhan's arm. "She's gotta get it all out before she sees Delphine."

Siobhan nodded, watching the bathroom. Her heart broke for Cosima.


	2. Chapter 2

Cosima sat in the hospital room. She had gotten lucky and was allowed to stay by Delphine's side. She sat in the uncomfortable chair, her legs crossed and her head lowered. Her forehead rested on the edge of the bed. She wasn't asleep, but the rhythmic beeping of machines had kept her in between sleep and consciousness. She kept her fingers laced with Delphine's. Off and on through the night she begged the blonde to come back to her, to open her hazel eyes.

Delphine's body was scattered with bruises and scratches. Her one eye had swollen and she had two broken ribs. Everything seemed superficial except the fact that she hit her head. The doctors had told her that no news was good news, but she wouldn't be relaxed into Delphine woke up.

"eau," a small voice whispered. Cosima's body jerked. She didn't hear the words but something woke her. "eau," Delphine repeated again, her eyes fluttering as she struggled to open them.

"Baby?" Cosima whispered.

Delphine didn't even focus on Cosima as she searched, pointing to the pitcher of water. "Eau," she whispered, her lips dry.

"Water. Water. Right." Cosima poured the water, letting the stray rest on her lips. "Drink it slow, okay?" Delphine nodded, her eyes already heavy. As she sipped the water, Cosima dialed the button for the nurse.

"Look who's awake!" The man smiled.

Delphine studied the two, noticing they both had white lab coats. "You are both my doctors?" She whispered, glancing back and forth.

"You... don't remember me?" Cosima's voice wavered. Since their first kiss, there hadn't been much doubt in Delphine's love for Cosima. And suddenly, for the first time Cosima realized how lucky she had been. The idea that something - anything - could steal that love and adoration cut Cosima to her core.

"You look so familiar. We are friends?" She asked, her French accent sounding so much stronger to Cosima.

"Why don't you go grab some coffee and I'll give Miss Cormier a quick evaluation," the nurse suggested.

"I am a doctor, yes?"

"You sure are," Cosima smiled. Somewhere under the confusion was Delphine, the woman who never let anyone forget her prestigious title. Cosima gave them some space, going to grab a cup of coffee. She quickly dialed Sarah.

"She's awake."

"Oh, thank God!" Sarah sighed. Cosima smiled. She knew Sarah well enough to know that she was running her hands through her hair.

"I'm surprised. You don't even like her," Cosima mumbled.

"Don't, Cos. I like her fine. I just ..."

"Don't trust her. You're... I don't know. You aren't the same as Alison."

"I know. I feel the connection, too" Cosima admitted.

"I don't want you to get hurt. We'll have to ask Delphine what she remembers."

"Oh. About that..."

"What? What did she remember?"

"Nothing, actually. Except that she's a doctor," Cosima offered a half smile, even if Sarah couldn't hear it. It was cute to her, the pride Delphine found in her achievements.

"We can talk to her, help her remember."

"No, Sarah. We can't."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I want her to remember me. I don't want her to be involved in the rest."

"Cosima-"

"No! She almost died. Those people think she's dead. I can keep her safe and at home. She won't go back to Dyad. She won't go to Topside. She can be my stay at home wife. She can be Kira's nanny. She can open a family practice for all I care."

"She'll learn about us eventually."

"So I'll say that we're quadruplets and Mrs S is our mom."

"You want to lie to her?"

"It's kind of the truth..."

"Cosima..."

"Look, the truth nearly killed her. I could give her a chance to live a normal life." She paused. "We could be a normal couple. Our worst argument could be over what to eat for dinner."

"This isn't who you are," Sarah whispered sadly.

"But it's who she needs. Look, I've gotta go. Trust me. I'll keep her safe."

"I trust you," Sarah sighed as she hung up the phone.


	3. Chapter 3

"We're lovers?" Delphine asked, studying Cosima. Cosima recognized the nervous way Delphine bit her lip and the girlish blush on her cheeks. Even as friends, Cosima recognized that attraction. She tried to remind herself to stay calm. Delphine might not remember, but she was still Delphine.

"Yes," Cosima clutched her hand. "We were happy together, Delphine."

"Were?"

"Before the accident, I mean."

"I just ... I didn't remember being a lesbian," Delphine blushed, glancing down nervously.

"Because your sexuality isn't the most interesting thing about you," Cosima tucked Delphine's hair behind her ear. Delphine didn't flinch at the contact and Cosima decided to consider it progress.

"Tell me something about us," Delphine pleaded. "About me."

Cosima thought long and hard. So long that Delphine reached out, squeezing her hand to encourage her.

"The first time I kissed you, you panicked. You raced out. Your eyes were so wide."

Delphine laughed, burying her face in her hands. "I just left you!" She laughed, embarrassed.

"But that wasn't the end..."

Delphine lowered her hands, smiling. "I won you back?" She asked, her long lashes obvious when she blinked slowly.

"You didn't have to win me back. You've always had me," she whispered.

"Tell me," Delphine pleaded. "Tell me, Cosima." Cosima smiled, closing her eyes. She forgot how beautiful her name sounded on Delphine's lips and with her French accent.

"You came back, and I apologized. You told me you couldn't stop thinking about the kiss..."

"Please," Delphine whispered. "Show me."

Cosima smiled. That was a typical Delphine move. Instead of every saying what she wanted she'd either hint around or take it. It was cute how she tried to make it about her memory instead of the attraction. Cosima didn't mind playing along. She knew Delphine and she knew that she wouldn't kiss someone out of curiously.

Cosima leaned over the bed and Delphine slowly moved, leaving a space big enough for Cosima to crawl into. Cosima understood, sitting in the bed next to her. She let her fingers play with Delphine's loose curls before stroking her cheek gingerly. She leaned in, kissing her gently at first, knowing the woman was sore all over. Delphine's hands moved to the back of Cosima's neck, holding the brunette against her as she kissed her deeply. Their tongues found each other, dancing to the rhythm they had perfected so many times. Delphine moaned softly, her grip on Cosima weak but enough to keep Cosima where she wanted her.

"Wow," Delphine breathed, taking a few moments for her eyes to open slowly. The minute they opened, they were focused on Cosima.

"So you believe me?" She whispered.

"What?" Delphine asked.

"You believe that you're a lesbian?" Cosima smiled slyly.

"If I say I need more proof, what are you going to do?" Delphine's breathing accelerated, the beeping of the machines matching it.

"There's my girl," Cosima smirked, kissing her forehead.

"Cosima, take me home," Delphine pleaded. "I just want to lay with you. In your arms."

"Come here," Cosima was careful on holding Delphine just right. She felt Delphine tense up at the littlest touches and she made sure to only rest her arms on places that didn't spur that reaction. "Your safe, Del." She whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I promise, I will never let anyone hurt you."

"Don't ever let me go," She whispered, already beginning to doze off.

"I promise," Cosima whispered, even if Delphine was already sound asleep. She took advantage, video chatting Sarah. She placed a finger over her mouth, reminding Sarah to keep it down.

"She's okay?" She whispered.

"Yeah. She's still under the amnesia. We kissed," she smiled.

"You're a real heartbreaker," Sarah smiled. She had moments where she doubted Delphine, but she never doubted the love those two had for each other. It was the kind of love you read about in fairy tales.

"She looks like a ballerina when she's knocked out," Felix whispered. Sarah and Siobhan tilted their head, giving him odd glances.

"You should see her in one of those wrap tops," Cosima whispered, remembering the sexy ballet wrap Delphine had worn for a trip to the farmers market.

 _Cosima had toyed with the ties of it, eager to expose her camisole underneath. When Delphine finally relented, Cosima had gasped at the thin camisole, worn without a bra._

 _"The asparagus will be sold out..." Delphine whispered._

 _"So we'll eat corn."_

 _"Corn? They give corn to pigs to fatten them," Delphine giggled. "Maybe carrots or yams..."_

 _"I'll eat anything you want for you to be mine," Cosima had panted, her eyes darkening with desire._

 _"You'll eat ... anything?" Delphine whispered, tugging at her long, flowy skirt until it pooled at her Tory Burch flats._

 _"Don't start something you can't finish, Cormier."_

 _"Why don't we see who finishes first?" Delphine raised an eyebrow at Cosima, giving her all the permission she needed._

"Cosima? Chicken?" Siobhan pulled Cosima back to reality. "Did Delphine remember much else?"

"No. I mean, when we kissed she remembered she was a lesbian..."

"Bisexual," Felix corrected.

"You didn't correct her?" Sarah laughed. "Cosima!"

"Does it matter? We're together. She doesn't need male attraction."

"You're playing a dangerous game," Felix whispered.

"If she remembers it all, she'll remember doing the same to me." Cosima shrugged.

"You're sure?" Siobhan whispered. "You don't want to tell her."

"She isn't ready. And I'm not ready for her to be a target yet. Think of it as a romantic getaway."

"A getaway from herself?" Sarah pushed. Cosima offered a nervous shrug. She understood their point, but she wasn't ready to let go. Not yet.

She hugged Delphine a little closer, wanting her to stay in her arms indefinitely. The blonde sighed, nuzzling her good side against Cosima's chest as her breathing deepened as once again, sleep locked in.


	4. Chapter 4

"You don't like it?" Cosima asked, placing a small tote bag down at the doorway. Delphine had walked into her own apartment, studying everything without saying a word. It was cute at first, but now Cosima was nervous.

"It smells like a home store in here," Delphine whispered in a tone that was neither positive or negative.

 _"I don't know what happened..." Cosima cried, on the verge of tears._

 _"You tried to cook," Delphine smiled softly._

 _"You aren't mad?" Cosima glanced around. There was pasta sauce splattered against the expensive tiles. The smoke was still heavy in the kitchen, forcing Delphine to open the windows. She had laid the smoke detector on the counter, standing on her tip toes to yank it. As mortifying as Cosima found it, she had loved seeing Delphine's ass as she strained to reach it._

 _"No, I'm not mad," Delphine whispered, grabbing oranges from the fridge._

 _"I tried to cook dinner. And I must have-"_

 _"You started coughing," Delphine raised an eyebrow as she cut the oranges._

 _Cosima blushed. She tried to pretend she had it under control, but Delphine saw right through it. "I don't want an orange," she whispered._

 _"These are not for you," Delphine smiled, tossing them into the slow cooker. Intrigued, Cosima stood next to her, watching as Delphine mixed vanilla extract, oranges and cinnamon sticks into the slow cooker. "This will make the house smell much better," she whispered, kissing Cosima's forehead. "I do not want you exerting yourself," her eyes were filled with a concern that cut Cosima deep._

 _"I just wanted to spoil you," Cosima pouted._

 _"Fine. You can pay for takeout. Anything you can order from bed," she whispered, kissing Cosima softly as the scent filled her apartment._

"You always prided yourself on it. The candles. The designs..."

"It seems a little snobbish," she gave Cosima a quick glance.

"You kind of are," Cosima smirked.

Delphine spun around. "I'm a snob?" She asked, her eyes so wide Cosima laughed. "Am I a bitch?"

"No, amazingly. You enjoy the finer side of life, but you're actually incredibly kind..." Cosima stroked Delphine's cheek. Delphine leaned into the welcome touch, exhaling softly.

"You liked me?"

"I like you," Cosima corrected.

"You loved me?"

"I love you," Cosima corrected again.

"I can't explain it, but I feel it."

"Feel what?" Cosima asked, worried Delphine was sore.

"I can feel something inside me pulling closer to you. I love you, I know it." She whispered.

"You'll come back to me," Cosima whispered, placing Delphine's hand over her heart. Instinctively, Delphine placed Cosima's hand over her own heart. The two women stared at each other, feeling the beat of each other's hearts.

"I should cook something," Delphine whispered, eventually breaking the contact.

"Why you?" Cosima asked, tilting her head.

"I don't know. It just felt..."

"No, you do cook," Cosima whispered.

"I could make some rice and chicken and peppers and onions," Delphine suggested. Cosima stared at her. How had she remembered one of Cosima's favorite meals? It wasn't the best meal that Delphine cooked, but it was the one that Delphine had noticed Cosima liked and made a point to mimic. The thoughtfulness of it had blown her away. "I just need to take some medicine first," Delphine whispered.

"Pauvre petit chiot," Cosima said softly.

"You're the puppy."

"Delphine, what did you say?" Cosima stepped closer.

Delphine shrugged as she took the pills. "You're the puppy."

"Why?"

"I must have heard it in a movie or something," she shook her head. "Why?"

"No. You heard it from me. That's what I say to you."

"Cosima..."

"You speak in French to me. Delphine do you remember?" Cosima asked, trying to hide the panic in her voice.

"I don't know. It just ... happened." Delphine looked worried, sensing Cosima's anxiety. "I said something wrong?"

"No, no," Cosima sighed. "You start dinner. I need to make a call..."


	5. Chapter 5

"This is a bad idea," Sarah sighed.

"Really bad," Felix added.

"Please!" Cosima cried. "I don't have another option. She can't go alone."

"Why can't you go?"

"She needs her mommy," Felix smirked.

"I asked Mrs S to have lunch with me."

"And I invited myself along," Felix smiled, pleased with himself. "I'm oddly curious."

"About Cosima or Delphine?" Sarah fired back.

Felix shrugged. "I'm not ashamed to admit. The Frenchy intrigues me."

"Fine. I'll pick her up from the appointment," Sarah sighed. "I'll be you."

"She'll kiss her again," Felix teased, stepping behind Cosima to pour a glass of orange juice.

"Piss off, Fee. She wasn't even a good kisser," Sarah lied.

"That's a lie." Cosima said, slightly offended. She knew that Delphine was one of the best kisses she'd ever gotten.

"She told me she liked it," Felix laughed.

"I can't even be mad," Cosima shrugged. "But she's mine."

Sarah rolled her eyes, but was secretly loving to see her sister so happy.

"Okay, pick her up from the doctor. Convince her to get food, you'll be the one to pick it up and we'll switch."

"This whole clone thing does have its perks," Cosima smirked. "Thanks, Sarah."

"It's what sisters are for."

Cosima and Felix left, meeting Siobhan for lunch.

"How's she doing?"

"Good, good..." Cosima whispered, nodding one too many times.

"If things were good, you wouldn't have asked me for lunch."

"She's recovering well. She's ... a stepford wife," Cosima realized. "She agrees with everything I say. She believes everything-"

"Like?" Siobhan pushed.

"She never liked burritos. Refused to even try it," she smiled at the memory. "She said it looked like a tube sock," she laughed. "Now, she eats them because I told her that she liked them. She doesn't argue with me. She doesn't keep secrets from me." Cosima looked down nervously.

"What is it, chicken?" Siobhan asked.

"We're family," Felix added.

"She used to be nervous when we..."

"Because she wasn't a lesbian before she fell for Cosima," Felix whispered to Siobhan.

"...there was, I don't know. Such hesitation. It was like she second guessed it all... and now... it's gone..."

"Love, all those things about Delphine and about all your obstacles, they added to what you felt. By keeping the safe things, you took away all the other aspects of her."

"I just wanted to be an ordinary couple."

"But you and Delphine are so much more than that," Felix added. "Some of my paintings have mistakes, but they make me love them more."

"He's right. Delphine protects you in ways that feel like betrayal. She isn't upfront. She pushes your buttons-" Siobhan started.

"And calls you out on your shit," Felix added, making Siobhan smile.

"-but she loves you. And that fire inside her is what you loved about her."

"It was the whole secret agent man thing that you fell for," Felix gave a soft shrug. "Not her amazing body."

"She remembers things in her sleep. Talking about Dyad and Rachel..."

"What?" Felix asked.

"She's smart. Her brain is working overtime," she will remember soon," Siobhan realized.

"I'm gonna have to tell her," Cosima whispered.

"How'd it go?" Sarah asked as she met Delphine in the doctors office lobby. She hoped Delphine wouldn't notice the messy bun where her hair was twirled to mimic the dreadlocks. She knew if Delphine looked hard enough, she'd see through her immediately. She did the last time, when she posed as Cosima. Delphine didn't know Cosima so intimately and saw through her.

"Good," Delphine smiled. "We talked about my dreams."

"What dreams?" Sarah blurted.

"Rachel. And Topside," she said. "The doctor said it must be an old friend from an old job."

"I'm sure," she whispered, growing nervous. Inside the elevator, Delphine stroked Sarah's cheek, thinking it was Cosima.

"You seem so different," Delphine whispered. She leaned in and kissed the girl softly. The minute her lips brushed over Sarah's, she felt her body stiffen. This wasn't Cosima. Her hair wasn't messy, it wasn't dreadlocks.

"You aren't Cosima. You're Sarah." The words slipped out, triggering the memory. She remembered the party, the kiss. Stealing Leekie's badge. Rachel.

"You're clones," she whispered. "Cosima knew and hid it from me."

"Delphine-"

"Don't." Her tone had harshened. "I remember it all."


	6. Chapter 6

Cosima knew she was in trouble. She sensed it before Sarah texted her. Delphine hadn't even let Sarah take her home. She was practically shaken when she got out of the car, struggling to process all the memories she suddenly had.

She heard the loud whir of the tools even from the elevator.

"What are you doing?" She demanded.

"Your neighbor is changing her locks," The locksmith called. "The noise will be over in a minute."

"Oh, wait until I talk to her to tell me about the noise," she called, rushing into the apartment.

"What the hell is this?" Cosima snapped. She wasn't stupid. She realized this was Delphine both literally and figuratively building a wall around herself.

"I'm changing the locks," Delphine whispered. "It's just a security thing. You know, a trust issue."

"Del, I was trying to protect you."

"Protect me?" She laughed as if the idea were ludicrous. "You are sick, Cosima. Did you think I wouldn't notice? Did you think I was that stupid?"

"No, I just wanted a chance for it to be easy for us."

"You're sick. It will never be easy!"

"It was with Shay," Cosima blurted before she realized. One glance at Delphine was all it took for her to lower her gaze. The words hurt her, more than Cosima would possibly understand.

"You should leave," Delphine whispered the minute Cosima stepped closer.

"It didn't work!" Cosima tried. "I tried to take all the bad parts away and I still wasn't happy!" She paused, realizing how poorly she worded things.

Delphine froze, staring at the floor. She didn't make a single noise or movement except the tears that slid freely. The image of her frozen except her tears would haunt Cosima.

"Delphine-"

"Just go."

"That didn't come out right-"

"Go."

"I didn't mean-"

"Please leave!" She sobbed.

Cosima ran out, tears falling freely. What had she done? She hadn't explained it, she had defended it and worded it so poorly that both things felt like blows to Delphine.

No matter how much she wanted her, Cosima knew she couldn't go to her. Delphine was too hurt to let Cosima hold her. The realization that Cosima caused that damage made her sick to her stomach. She needed to accept her punishment, a few days without Delphine while she called down.

Almost a week later, she knew she needed to approach the middle man.

"I can't get involved," Scott begged. "She's my boss."

"And I'm your best friend," Cosima crossed her arms.

"She hasn't been here all week anyway."

"What?" She tilted her head. "That is the most un-Delphine thing I've ever heard..."

"That's why I hacked her phone," he blushed. "I wanted to give her space but make sure she was okay."

"And?"

"She's bought some expensive chocolates from France online and ordered a few chick flicks."

"Typical breakup," she frowned. "What else?" Scott seemed hesitant. She placed a hand on his arm, trying to ease him to tell her the hard truth.

"She joined a dating website."

"What? She wouldn't-"

"She's been well received. So many people invited her to speed dating that she's agreed to go," he said quietly.

"I need the information."

"What for?"

"I'm going speed dating," she raised an eyebrow.


	7. Chapter 7

_Delphine was sitting in her office, glancing over paperwork. She didn't need to glance up to recognize her. She'd know those dreadlocks anywhere._

 _"Yes?" She asked without looking up._

 _Cosima moved to the other side of Delphine's desk, pushing her chair away from the desk._

 _"What are you doing?" Delphine demanded, growing frustrated with her ex. Still, Cosima remained silent, spreading Delphine's legs, testing the limits of her tight, A line skirt. She knelt down, knowing no one would be able to see her from Delphine's glass walls. Her tongue moved over Delphine's thigh as she hiked her skirt up. "We can't," she panted, but made no attempts to stop her._

 _Cosima grabbed Delphine's hips, pulling her so the blonde was practically laying against her chair instead of sitting in it. Her mouth connected with Delphine's intimacy, sucking and licking eagerly, wanting to make her ex unravel._

 _Delphine bit her lip, unable to muffle the moans. Cosima's breath was hot against her and each lick was desperate for Delphine, as if Cosima was physically suffering for every second that passed without Delphine having an orgasm._

 _"Cosima," she moaned, so close._

"Cosima," Delphine called, waking suddenly. She was panting, struggling to catch her breath. It was just a dream. It was just another dream. Delphine had been having dreams of Cosima since she kicked her out.

Cosima hurt her. She had broken her heart. But Delphine's body needed her. Every inch of her was starving without Cosima's kisses. She craved their sex life. Her entire body ached and no matter what she did, Delphine wasn't able to satisfy herself any longer.

She had joined the dating app, even if she didn't want to date anyone. But she needed a distraction. When she had so many positive responses, she agreed to the speed dating. She had never been the type to have a one night stand. She never wanted one and she never planned on having one. But right now, she knew the truth. She just needed to be touched. She didn't care if it was rough or gentle, she didn't care who it was from. She needed to allow someone else's touch on her body.

She straightened her hair, not wanting to hear another girl compliment her curls. Not like Cosima used to. And she couldn't stand the idea of another girl wrapping the soft curls around her finger, touching her hair for hours like Cosima used to.

She wore a simple black dress, it was straight and short. She planned on showing off not only her curves, but also her long legs. She wore heels, not caring whether anyone thought she was too tall. She couldn't believe it, but she was going to an all women event. She had thought Cosima was a one time thing, like she fell in love with Cosima and not just a girl. But she missed the soft lips of a girl and the warm touch. And if she were really being honest, Shay had been a very beautiful woman.

"You can do this," she whispered to herself as she gave one last look to the large mirror in her entryway. She glanced around, wanting it to be perfect if she brought a girl back.

"Immunology? That is so important," Nicole, a bubbly redhead gushed. "I read about these celebrities drinking that unimmuned milk..."

Delphine tried to stifle a laugh. How could anyone confuse pasteurization for immunization? Clearly they weren't going to work.

She was thinking of a way to break it off when she saw Cosima moving closer to her. She knew that Cosima was here for her. Cosima's gaze didn't leave her for an instant. The intensity of her state nearly took Delphine's breath away and she felt the effect it had to her heartbeat.

"Immuned or not, cows are so cute," Nicole continued, oblivious to Delphine's reaction. As Cosima moved next to them, Delphine leaned in, kissing Nicole. Mostly, she wanted to make Cosima jealous. But she knew a part of it was she just wanted Nicole to stop talking.

"That won't stop me," Cosima whispered as she stepped next to Nicole.

"I think times up. It's my turn with one," Cosima smiled at Nicole. Nicole scoffed but moved to the next candidate. Delphine frowned, her lips pressed into a tiny line. She crossed her arms.

"You're cute when you pout," Cosima whispered.

"You're supposed to answer the questions," Delphine sighed, not even looking at Cosima as she grabbed the question card. "Describe your perfect date," Delphine considered it for a minute. "It would be having an honest conversation with someone easy..."she used air quotes to get her point across, which only made Cosima smile. She loved this side of Delphine, the sarcastic side few got to see. "... with someone who accepts my flaws." She raised an eyebrow as she placed the card down.

"You want to hear mine?" Cosima smirked.

"No not really."

"That time you didn't know the difference between cake and cupcakes-"

"The liner is different. The components are identical," Delphine interrupted.

"- and we made cupcakes and laid in bed, taking and eating cupcakes..."

"Don't," Delphine warned, her voice a soft plea.

"We were naked and in bed and I smashed them along the curves of your body, biting the cake and licking the frosting-"

"Please," Delphine begged, but Cosima wasn't going to stop. Not yet.

"I licked every last inch of you, Delphine. I tasted the sweetest dessert and I don't mean the cupcakes. We spent the entire night laying in bed naked, eating cupcakes and making love..." Cosima was trying so hard to bring Delphine back to the memory that she didn't notice the few tears that began to fall.

"Yes, Cosima. I thought we were happy. I overlooked the mess and my diet because it made you happy. I overlooked those things that I wasn't thrilled with. But you couldn't just overlook my flaws."

"Del," Cosima reached her arm across the table, her fingertips brushing against the soft skin on Delphine's arm. The sparks were undeniable between them. They both let out a small gasp, the connection taking them by surprise.

When Cosima locked eyes with Delphine, she let out one soft sob as she pulled away from Cosima, rushing out of the bar.

Cosima was quick enough to catch her on the street, spinning the blonde and kissing her wildly. Delphine tried to push away but Cosima refused to let her go. It didn't take long for Delphine to cup Cosima's face, her hands on both sides just as they always had. As Cosima inhaled each and every one of Delphine's moans, she knew that despite the hurt, Delphine still loved her. There was no denying the connection they shared.

Cosima pulled her into the alley, pressing Delphine's back against the brick wall.

"Cosima, not here," Delphine moaned as Cosima's hands roamed her thighs.

"You need me, Delphine. I know you feel it. You're dying without me just like I am without you," she panted.

"Not in front of everyone," Delphine's eyes widened.

"Then let me come back to your place."

"Cosima..."

"One night. Give me one night."

"And tomorrow?" Delphine raised one eyebrow.

"If I didn't win you over, I'll let you go," she agreed.

Delphine bit her lip, unsure what to do. Her body was screaming out for her, desperate for the sex they used to have.

Two drunk men's voices grew closer and Delphine glanced around nervously. "Okay," she whispered. "You have one night."


	8. Chapter 8

Neither spoke during the car ride home. Neither spoke as the elevator carried them to the 8th floor where Delphine lived. There was such a strangeness in their relationship. It had gone from lovers to prisoner and captor.

When they got into her apartment, Cosima walked around, studying everything. She lifted her head, reminding Delphine of the way a child lifted their chin to feel the snow fall. She tilted her head, her straightened blonde hair falling around her eye as she couldn't help but smile.

"You know you have been here before," Delphine finally whispered.

"I forgot how much I loved it. The scent of lilac and vanilla candles. The fresh lilies on the kitchen counter. The way everything is so meticulous..."

"Maybe I could just leave you and the apartment alone," she teased.

"Not a chance," Cosima returned her attention to Delphine, who was sliding out of her coat. Cosima paced, making circles around Delphine. They both understood the animalistic move. Cosima was letting Delphine know this was her night. She was in control. Delphine felt her breathing grow erratic. Her body and her brain were screaming two different things and neither was willing to feel what the other suggested.

Cosima placed a hand on each hip, loving the way Delphine left a soft moan escape her lips. "I want you to change," Cosima purred. She pushed the blonde hair to one side, unzipping the dress. She let her hand brush over the exposed skin, grateful for the wave of goosebumps that trailed her touch. She knew that Delphine felt it, that instant connection. She let the dress pool at Delphine's feet. "Those stockings with the garter, those red ruffled panties and the red bra," Cosima continued.

Delphine spun around, knowing what she was doing. "It won't work," she frowned.

"It isn't about me. Remember?"

"I remember," Delphine snapped. "You were late."

"I'm always late," Cosima reminded her. "But by the time I got home even your thighs were slick," she purred. "And I took my time with you," she reminded her.

"The amnesia is gone. I remember," Delphine scoffed. She knew the memory. She often replayed it, the way Cosima's mouth explored her, tasting every last drop of her.

"Go change," Cosima whispered, trying to give her a minute to calm down. She knew pushing her too hard would only make her lose the blonde.

Delphine walked away, but returned a moment later. "I'll change here," she said, letting Cosima know she was still angry.

When Delphine had the bra and panties on, Cosima knelt down, pulling up the stockings and garter, her hands gently running against Delphine's soft skin.

Delphine's look was almost nervous and suddenly Cosima saw it clearly. Delphine was expecting sex. She had managed to convince herself this was about Cosima wanting sex, not a relationship. Cosima felt a pang of guilt, the outfit did not help Delphine to not feel objectified.

Cosima lead Delphine towards the couch, immediately sitting and pulling Delphine so she straddled Cosima.

"Cosima, I'm too heavy. You-"

"You're light as a feather and I'm not sick like I was. I can handle it. I can handle you," she whispered, studying Delphine's hazel eyes.

"What are you doing?" She asked softly.

"I want to talk."

"Talk?" Delphine smiled as if she were waiting for the punchline of a joke.

"Del, if I have sex with you tonight, I'll never be able to convince you that I want more than your body, will I?"

"No," she agreed before she could stop herself.

"You kissed that girl," Cosima said calmly.

"Nicole," Delphine corrected, glancing down.

"Did you like her?"

"She's okay," she shrugged, feeling uncomfortable talking about another girl while she was dressed in lingerie and straddling Cosima.

"Can she keep up with you?"

"What?" Delphine smiled.

"Intellectually," Cosima clarified.

"She thought immunology was pasteurization. But that the cows were cute," Delphine whispered, looking up to offer a bashful smile. Even with the time apart, it was nice to have her buddy by her side.

"Why did you go to the speed dating? Or join the dating app?" Cosima asked, refusing to break the eye contact. Even in their relationship, it hadn't been quite as honest and real as it felt in this moment.

"When you told me that you wanted things easy, like they were with Shay. I don't know, I guess it sounded nice," she shrugged, her eyes dropping down to her perfectly manicured nails.

"I didn't mean it that way-"

"It's fine," Delphine said so quickly that Cosima knew the wound was still raw. It made Cosima's heart break, realizing how sensitive Delphine was, even if she hid it so well that Cosima often forgot.

"It's not fine. I didn't mean it was easier with Shay. I just meant that when she knew I was sick, it wasn't hours spent on finding a cure or researching holistic suggestions. She just brought me a smoothie."

"A smoothie won't save your life!" Delphine cried.

"I know. And I looked at it wrong. I was upset and angry at the illness. Watching you spend time on it made me-"

"Jealous," Delphine finished her sentence, realizing that she had clumped Cosima and her illness together when Cosima had only wanted the opposite. "I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"No, you love me so much that you spent every last minute searching for any little scrap of information. I've never felt loved so deeply," Cosima admitted. "I was wrong."

"Were you happier with her?" Delphine whispered.

Cosima smiled, finding it endearing how someone as intelligent as Delphine could miss such clues. And the vulnerability in her tone only added to the adoration.

"No, she was never about being happy. She was a distraction," she explained. "She was a way to stop thinking about you."

Delphine smiled, but Cosima knew it still hurt. She had made her feel replaceable, and that pain didn't go away so easily.

"When did you know you were in love with me?" Cosima whispered.

"I told you, I felt it immediately."

"No, but when did you accept how you felt?" Cosima pushed.

"When you told me that you were sick," Delphine whispered. "I felt like if you left my side, my world would crumble and I'd die of the pain. I knew that I never felt that way before..."

"Do you know when I loved you? When I knew?" Cosima asked. Delphine didn't answer, but gave Cosima her full attention, waiting. "When we ran through the courtyard."

"Before you noticed my flaws," she smiled falsely.

"I didn't mean your flaws. I wanted to protect you."

"Protect me?" Delphine pushed to stand, but Cosima grabbed her hips, refusing to let her slip out of her grasp.

"Del, a man came up to your car. You knew enough to play dead. He watched for you to breathe and you held your breath. I thought it was better to protect you from that."

Delphine bit her lower lip. They were so similar sometimes. Cosima had done the same things that Delphine had done while Cosima was sick. And if Cosima forgot her memory, Delphine wasn't sure if she would remind her of all the problems that being a clone brought.

"I wanted normalcy with us. But it wasn't us. That spark was gone," she explained. "I thought I could move us into a mundane life and suddenly we weren't you and I anymore." She raised her eyebrow when Delphine yawned instead of replying. "Am I boring you?" She teased, knowing it was late.

"Cosima," Delphine whispered, her eyes heavy. "If I give you a full day tomorrow, could I please go to bed?" She yawned, covering her mouth.

"Quarter til four is pretty late for you," Cosima realized. "I'll make you a deal. I get all day tomorrow, but I stay the night."

"Here?" Delphine whispered.

"In your bed. With you. With you dressed like that," Cosima smirked.

"Okay," Delphine nodded.

"You'll let me hold you all night?"

"I'd like that," Delphine smiled so sweetly that Cosima felt more satisfied that she would have if she slept with Delphine tonight.


	9. Chapter 9

Delphine woke to the smell of burnt food. As she pulled the blanket over her, she realized her breasts were poking out of the red bra. _Cosima_ , she thought, giving a mischievous grin. She knew that even as the brunette slept, her body couldn't resist. Thinking of the brunette made the burnt food smell make sense.

"I didn't mean..." Cosima started the minute Delphine entered the kitchen. "This is kind of endearing, right? I did try for breakfast in bed."

"I can make crepes."

"The point was for me to prove I can take care of you," Cosima whispered.

"There are so many ways to take care of someone," Delphine smiled. "Sit," she gave a subtle nod towards the kitchen counter and Cosima hopped up.

Delphine placed a large glass bowl in Cosima's lap, mixing the ingredients. As she mixed, her body leaned into Cosima's and her breasts jiggled with each whisk of the spoon.

"God, that outfit..."

"You chose this," Delphine reminded her.

"But you're like, a hot housewife fantasy..."

Delphine winked at her, feeling her cheeks redden at the compliments. She tried to remind herself of all that had happened but it was impossible not to fall for Cosima.

That was the magic of them. No matter what happened, they both felt it. That connection between them. Nothing seemed to be enough to keep them apart. Even when they weren't together, they both knew they weren't really apart, either.

"What are you thinking about?" Cosima whispered, pulling Delphine from her thoughts.

"Us," she smiled.

"So we're an us again?"

"Fine. You and me," she raised an eyebrow defiantly.

"I'm serious," Cosima whispered. "I want to know what you're thinking. The truth."

"Bananas and Nutella," Delphine shrugged innocently.

"What?"

"For the crepes. I don't have any more strawberries..."

Cosima smiled, remembering the way Delphine always dipped her strawberries in Nutella. Cosima liked the combination, it tasted like chocolate covered strawberries. More than that, she liked to watch Delphine indulge in the treat. The way she closed her eyes as she took a bite and licked her lips. Cosima found it both intoxicating and arousing.

"Cosima? What are you thinking about?" Delphine's head was cocked nervously.

"The way you eat strawberries dipped in Nutella and how incredibly sexy it is."

Delphine bit her lip, her cheeks reddening. "Are you just going to compliment me all day."

"If that's what it takes."

"If what takes?" Delphine whispered breathlessly.

"I want you back, Delphine. You know what I want," Cosima reminded her.

"It isn't about compliments," Delphine tried, moving to slice the bananas."

"It's about me proving that I can provide for you. I can take care of you."

"It isn't about any of that for me," Delphine whispered without looking up.

"Tell me, baby. What is it?"

Delphine spun, biting her lower lip. "It's about knowing my heart and my trust are safe in your hands," she shrugged, as if it were the easiest answer in the word.

"And knowing you don't be replaced," Cosima added, knowing the doubts that Shay had caused.

Delphine continued with the crepes. Seeing Cosima in Shay's apartment, in Shay's bed had hurt her more than she could even admit to herself, much less to Cosima.

"Let me finish the crepes, hmm?"

"Delphine," Cosima started.

"They're easy to burn," she smiled falsely.

"You don't burn anything. You're an impeccable chef."

"Cooking is a science," she shrugged. "It is simple."

"To you, maybe."

"Don't pout," Delphine grabbed her hand, kissing it softly. She released it in time to slide the crepe from the pan to a plate that she handed to Cosima. "You eat it first."

"I can hear your stomach growl from here," Delphine scoffed. Cosima gave up, taking big bites of the crepes.

Delphine made herself one, but ended up giving it to Cosima before making herself one. When she finished, she made Cosima another. She poured Cosima juice, setting it down next to her automatically.

"Are you always like this?" Cosima asked.

"Like what?"

"Do you take care of me because you're a natural caregiver or because of..."

"Because you're a clone?" Delphine furrowed her brow at the accusation.

"Because I'm a clone. I'm a girl. I'm sick."

"Yes, because you're sick. But mostly because I try and take care of people I love," Delphine hissed, cleaning up the plates.

"I love that about you," Cosima whispered. "It wasn't a complaint or an accusation. I don't think many people know how to love the way you do. I don't know that I love the way you do."

"It isn't a competition," Delphine shook her head.

"But you deserve someone who takes care of you like that," Cosima whispered. "I'm sorry if I didn't..."

"What you did is enough," Delphine threw her hands up in frustration. "This isn't about me being unhappy with you."

"Delphine," Cosima stepped closer. "I know all those memories came flooding back and I know Shay hurt, but baby, we had already worked past that. We were together when you had your accident," Cosima kissed her neck, grabbing the blonde's hips. "You're feeling things that feel new. But you aren't mad that I lied about your memories."

"You wanted to keep me safe," Delphine practically moaned, arching her neck. There was something so comforting about Cosima's touch. It was like her hands and lips could hypnotize Delphine instantly.

"Come on, lets go shower," Cosima whispered, leading Delphine before she had a chance to argue.

The minute the water was hot enough, Cosima slipped off her silk robe, quickly grabbing Delphine's small waist and pulling her under the water.

"Cosima!" Delphine shrieked, the bright red bra and panties turning a dark crimson under the hot water. Her cries were muffled by Cosima's kisses, making her forget that her lingerie was soaked. Cosima slammed her fingers inside Delphine, making Delphine arch her back so far that it hit the cold tiles in the shower, only adding to the ecstasy of Cosima's attack.

"I love you," Cosima whispered, sucking on Delphine's ear lobe.

"Je t'aime," Delphine panted, her breathing erratic. Cosima smiled as she kissed Delphine's collarbone. Without fail, every time Delphine gave in, completely lost in the sex, she spoke French. Cosima loved it, knowing that she could make Delphine feel so good that her brain couldn't even process the second language.

It didn't take long for Delphine to hit her peak, cupping Cosima's face and kissing her wildly.

"I still have all day," Cosima bragged.

"Oi, I gave you my word."

"No work?" Cosima asked, her eyes widening in excitement.

"No work. I'll tell them your sick," she said softly. "Doctor patient confidentiality," she winked.


	10. Chapter 10

Cosima sat on the couch, her head in Delphine's lap.

"Yes, yes of course..." Delphine said softly and Cosima realized how hard she tried to hide her accent around her superiors. "She didn't mention any symptoms last night..." Delphine nodded, even if they couldn't see her. She placed a hand on Cosima's forehead. "Yes, I gave her something to bring the fever down. I'm hoping she'll keep food down once the medicine sets in..." she stroked Cosima's hair the way her mother did when she was sick. Cosima bit her lip, refusing to laugh until Delphine hung up her phone.

"I'm not actually sick, weirdo," she giggled when the phone was down.

"What?"

"You touched my forehead and my hair like I was really sick."

"Maybe I'm such a believable actress," she shrugged.

"Definitely not. You're a terrible liar."

"Maybe I just wanted to touch you," she purred.

Cosima sat up, her lips brushing against Delphine's long enough to let her teeth sink into the blonde's lower lip, tugging it gently.

"Cosima," she whispered. "I owe you an apology."

"I was teasing. I kind of liked you babying me."

"Non," Delphine smiled. "I got upset over memories that were old. I was upset and irrational. I remember making up. We kissed outside a boutique."

"Alison's store," Cosima nodded with a smile.

"But I took it out on you all over. The Shay thing... I wanted you, Cosima. I didn't care about Shay."

"It's okay, really."

"No it isn't. I acted irrationally. I was foolish-"

"You were a human. You messed up. And I messed up," Cosima whispered, stroking Delphine's cheek.

"So we both screw this up?" She smirked. "Or you just look for reasons for us to make up and reconnect?"

"Actually, I told you that I'm not touching you today," Cosima shrugged.

"Wow. You know how to make a girl feel desired," Delphine smirked playfully.

"It's still my day. I've got a plan..."

"A plan?" Delphine repeated.

"You kissed a girl in front of me. Did you think I forgot?"

Delphine's eyes widened. She had forgotten. She couldn't even remember the name of the girl at the bar. All she remembered was the way Cosima promised her that it wouldn't stop her. And it didn't.

"You did have Shay," Delphine whispered nervously.

"I never kissed Shay in front of you," Cosima raised an eyebrow. Delphine opened her mouth but shut it. It was true. Seeing them kissing or touching would have killed her.

Cosima slid away from her, grabbing a black silk bag.

"What is it?" Delphine asked, lurching forward to catch a glimpse.

"An egg vibrator," Cosima practically sang. She was so confident and cocky. Delphine could pretend Cosima was a brat, but it always turned her on to see her like this, so lovely and confident.

"So you are touching me?"

"No, you're going to wear it. All day." Cosima grabbed the remote, testing it. She loved the way Delphine's breathing grew erratic, both aroused and unsure of this. Delphine held her hand out, staring at the remote. "Oh, no no no. I'm in control." Delphine let out the softest moan at the idea. She hoped Cosima hadn't heard, but the noise cut Cosima to the core, reminding her yet again why she loved Delphine.

"I'll take the punishment," Delphine blurted, unable to hide her eagerness. Cosima massaged her thighs slightly as she made her way, inserting the vibrator before trapping it with Delphine's panties.

"Cosima," she panted when Cosima cranked up the frequency. She knew it was more intense than anything Delphine was accustomed to.

"Come on, we'll take it easy and watch tv," she teased, pulling Delphine against her. She held Delphine tightly, loving the way her body squirmed and trembled. She was already so close. Cosima wondered how many orgasms she could give before the blonde passed out.

Delphine moaned, an anguished and surprised moan as the first orgasm hit. Her body had no break as Cosima watched television, making no effort to adjust the remote control.

"Shh," Cosima teased.

"Ma chérie," she panted, squirming against Cosima.

"I can't hear," Cosima whispered, pretending to be enthralled with a daytime talk show.

Even with the television, Cosima was able to count to 15 orgasms before she felt Delphine's body grow heavy against her own. Even as she slept, Delphine moaned, her voice raw and animalistic from the punishment.

With a sigh, Cosima lowered the frequency to the softest one. She didn't want to let her off easy, but Delphine never napped. She barely slept a full nights sleep. And Cosima loved having her in her arms. She kissed the top of her forehead, pushing the loose curls from her face.

"I love you," Cosima whispered, watching the way the corners of Delphine's mouth turned into the slightest hint of a smile.


	11. Chapter 11

The gentle massage made Delphine's limp body begin to stir. She moaned softly, her voice hoarse from moaning all night. Still, Cosima pawed at the blonde's thighs, massaging gently.

"Baby, are you awake?" Cosima whispered.

"I didn't sleep. I'm just relaxed," Delphine yawned.

"You were snoring."

"I don't snore."

"You slept four hours, Del." At that, Delphine jumped up, her hazel eyes wide. She glanced at her phone before turning her attention to the clock hanging on the wall.

"It's impossible!"

ay

"You passed out!" Cosima chuckled, remembering the way Delphine collapsed after so many orgasms.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Delphine asked softly.

"You were so peaceful and you took your punishment like a champ."

Delphine bit her lip, remembering that it was a punishment. "It hurt you when I kissed her?" She asked softly.

"Of course it did. I'm in love with you."

"But she meant nothing," Delphine whispered softly.

"But you mean everything to me..."

"There was no romance. No connection."

"I hurt you," Cosima realized with a soft grunt.

"It doesn't matter," Delphine shook her head.

"It matters to me."

Delphine sighed, knowing Cosima was waiting for her to speak. "I just didn't expect you to move on so quickly. That's all."

"She was a rebound, Del."

"No, she wasn't. You cared for this woman."

Cosima watched the blonde glance down. She knew this expression, the way Delphine's eyes shifted as the walls she held to protect herself went back up. "How did it make you feel?" She asked. She knew the answer, but needed to keep Delphine talking if she had any chance of getting through to her.

"Not great," Delphine answered quickly.

"Talk to me," Cosima asked.

"I tried to respect your wishes. I tried to love every sister equally-"

"I didn't mean to love me equal..."

"I followed your orders, Cosima. And it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough."

"Delphine-"

"It is what it is," the blonde said, flicking away a stray tear. "My love wasn't enough and it was simpler with Shay."

"It wasn't simpler with Shay!"

"Oh, great," Delphine rolled her eyes. "It was what? Better?"

"No! No!" Cosima snapped. "She didn't know me the way you do. She didn't know anything other than the surface stuff."

"Wouldn't you prefer easier?" Delphine asked, glancing around nervously.

"No. I'm self aware. I want to talk about my sisters. I want to talk about the biology and the clones and who I really am. I want to be honest and upfront."

Delphine looked down, biting her lip. She hated feeling so small and so unsure. She knew Cosima's words. Still, she saw how carefree Cosima's life was with Shay. That had weighted heavily on her through their breakup.

"I don't want anyone else," Cosima whispered. "Simple isn't you. Easy isn't you."

"So I'm complex?" Delphine smiled, a soft burst of laughter.

"Yeah. You're like a puzzle. And I like brain teasers," Cosima whispered.

Delphine lunged forward, kissing her deeply. "I love you," she panted, her lips crashing against the brunettes again.


End file.
